I think the best part of being a woman is the sexual security that we have. I mean like even a straight woman could know that she’s not interested in women, but she can still sit on another girl’s lap and hold her hand and maybe even kiss her if they were that close. If two guys even make eye contact with each other they have to screech “NO HOMO” at the top of their lungs to make sure everybody knows that they are not gay.
one time when my dad was in college these guys found a carpet on the sidewalk and they needed furniture for their dorm so they were like “hell yeah free carpet” and they carried the carpet upstairs and it was really wet and heavy so they unrolled it to let it dry and a dead body fell out
I’M NOT SHITTING YOU
I’VE JUST HAD AN E-MAIL FROM MY COLLEGE SAYING WOMEN SHOWING TOO MUCH FLESH IS “UNCOMFORTABLE FOR MALE TEACHERS”.
I AM BEYOND FUCKING MAD.
okay but a story about an asexual pirate who gets made fun of by the crew until he saves all of them from sirens
A pirate for the adventure, not the booty
oh my gosh i want that on a bumper sticker
Trying to pilot a ship here. Thanks.
IT GOT BETTER
the worst part of winter is when you wake up for school and it’s still dark outside it’s like mother nature telling you to sleep some more but the system telling you you’re a lil shit and need to wake the fuck up
glasses are so stupid. u wanted to lie on ur side??? fuck off. u wanted a hot drink???? u can’t see shit now bc ur glasses are fogged up. go out in the rain???? tough luck shithead.